New Years Prayer for You and Yours

“Your life begins to change the day you take responsibility for it.” ~ Steve Maraboli

As we set out on the adventure that is 2013 we come to you bringing a prayer for 2013. We pray that you have enough.

In the name of The Lord;
~ We pray you enough sunshine to keep your attitude bright and warm no matter how gray and cold the day may appear.
~ We pray you enough rain to quench your thirst and appreciate the sunshine even more.
~ We pray you enough food to satisfy your hunger and to feed those that can’t feed themselves.
~ We pray you enough joy to give you strength and keep your spirit alive and everlasting no matter your circumstance.
~ We pray you enough pain not to discourage you but to make you persevere and overcome and so that even the smallest joys in life may appear bigger.
~ We pray you enough time with your children to make the nights apart more bearable.
~ We pray you enough laughter to fill the silence.
~ We pray you enough gain to satisfy your needs and have more to help those who have less.
~ We pray you enough fun and adventure to keep you going until the next adventure.
~ We pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you already have.
~ We pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.”

May your days be filled with blessings and your nights filled with peace. God bless and keep you.

~S~

A Season of Adventures

I know that it has been a long time since either one of us has blogged, but that doesn’t mean that we have forgotten about you all! It just means that our lives have been spinning like crazy. However, they have been spinning like crazy in a good way! Our family has accomplished so many great things this summer and together we celebrated a fantastic day! Let me tell you what all we have done so far!!

Marissa has accomplished one of the greatest things in her career so far! She recently graduated and passed her boards!! Way to go Marissa…we are so, so, so proud of her! We also celebrated Marissa’s birthday as a family. That’s right…Marissa, Andrew, myself, David, and Ethan all celebrated Marissa’s birthday together by spending the day in Cincinnati. The same day that we celebrated Marissa’s birthday we also celebrated National Children’s Day! I know that there are people out there that will look at us and think that we are crazy for spending time together like we do and for celebrating special days together like we do, but lets be honest…wouldn’t you rather spend time together and have fun, than not spend time together and fight. Plus, if you think about it every parent gets more time with the child and the child gets more time with the parents. Oh and the most important part is that Ethan got to see all of his parents getting along and to see that we all love him and that we all care for eachother. The fun, joy, laughter, and love that we shared that day was priceless and honestly, we share that joy and friendship every day!

As far as me I went to Washington, D.C. with all expenses paid for two weeks! I was so happy!! I went for the NEA-SP (National Education Association-Student Program) and had a blast! While I was there I was able to learn more about the NEA and the politics of education (which is out of control if you ask me), watch our National Conference unfold, and build new friendships that will go on for a long while. I was also able to see the sights of Washington, hear the President and Vice President speak to us, and more importantly grow as both an individual and a future educator. I had such a wonderful trip! The only down fall was that I was away from David and Ethan for so long. I talked to David a couple times and we texted daily.

Ethan was another thing though. Ethan went to overnight camp the first week that I was gone, so I wasn’t able to talk to him for a while. However, when he got home I was able to not just talk to him, I was blessed to FaceTime with him so we could see each other while doing video chat. It was so nice to see his face while we were away from each other. Okay…so not only did Ethan go to overnight camp he also went to day camp and really was gone for two full weeks. He also started fifth grade this year, which where we live is MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! Yep, our baby boy is growing up and he is in middle school this year and is in the gifted and talented program. He loves going to school every day and has been blessed with another year of fantastic teachers! He truly is a great kiddo and has grown up so much this summer that I can’t imagine him going back to his “old self.”

Alright, last, but certainly never least, our son has turned the BIG 10!! We know we got some strange looks when we all came together and celebrated his birthday a couple years ago, but we wanted to do that again this year. I mean it’s not every year your child turns double digits and he wanted us to all be together so of course we agreed! This year for E’s birthday we all got together and went to The Old Spaghetti Factory where we were able to celebrate Ethan’s life and the accomplishments that he has made this year, which have been plentiful.

I know that we have been lacking on the writing part lately, but please know that we still love all of our followers and that we are still getting along and co-parenting. Our lives have just been extremely busy. Despite the chaos, hustle, and bustle of our lives though know that we are all still in this together and we are parenting and raising Ethan to be a good, strong, child that loves God and stands up for what he believes in. We are also making sure daily that he knows how much he is loved by all of us and by his extremely large family!

With love.

~S~

to walk a mile in her shoes…

 

 

 

Okay so these shoes aren’t really the most comfortable to walk a mile in. Nor is that what I am really talking about when I say to walk a mile in her shoes….

 

 

 

Something Scarlet and I have talked about a lot is trying to see the issues from the other perspective. In Scarlet’s last post she talked candidly about some important things moms and stepmoms alike should keep in mind and explained some of the common feelings on both sides of the equation. What I want to talk about is closely tied to that.

To walk a mile in another person’s shoes means to put yourself in their place – imagine their life story and put yourself in as the main character. We do a great job looking out for ourselves, understanding why we feel the way we do about any particular issue, and believing  our viewpoints and opinions are the right ones. And that is why we have conflicts. That is why so often in mom/stepmom relationships (or lack there of) there is so much tension. Because both parties are acting on behalf of themselves. Because they both believe they are right, justified, entitiled, etc. Because both are unwilling and unable to put themselves in each other’s shoes (regardless of whether you wear a size 8 and she’s a size 6).

Let’s be honest. It’s like that because our own shoes are the ones we are the most comfortable with. Or we have at least learned to live with the discomfort (uncomfortable shoes=skeletons in the closet?).  Our shoes are so much more than where we are standing right now. Our shoes are our past experiences, our past relationships, our upbringing, our current relationships, our financial status, our hopes, our dreams, our goals for the future, our friendships, our family ties, our personality, our faults, our mistakes, and on and on. “Our shoes” is a metaphor for what makes us individuals. We are so used to our own shoes, even the uncomfortable ones, that anybody else’s shoes would be painful. And yet, we so need to step out of our own shoes and into the shoes of the other parent in order to really get anywhere in this coparenting venture.

Notice I said it would be painful? Sometimes new shoes are pretty uncomfortable at first. You have to walk around in them, break them in, spend some time just relaxing with them on your feet to stretch them out. If you tried to go out dancing in a brand new set of heels, you’d be miserable. Coparenting is a lot like breaking in a new pair of shoes…. you have to go slow. You take it a day, or even an hour, at a time. Further, Coparenting is a lot like stepping into a pair of someone else’s brand new shoes, breaking them in for them, then giving them back so they can go dancing. You put in the work, you endure the painful moments, you give and give, and you may never get rewarded for it. But it gets easier. Every time you step into that person’s shoes they feel more familiar. They start to feel more comfortable – they won’t ever be your own, but you can appreciate them more.

 

I’m speaking in a lot of metaphors and if you aren’t following here is the simplified version:

Being nice, being thoughtful, being SELFLESS doesn’t always come naturally in coparenting relationships. You will have the constant urge to protect yourself to look out for your own best interests and getting out of that habit will be somewhat painful as you learn to compromise and even sacrifice. But the more you do it, the easier it is to do it the next time.

It’s just more fun to talk about shoes

 

Granted, it may be a one way process. And a lot of people will give up because of that. It’s good that you tried. But, to truly be selfless, to truly walk a mile in their shoes – you have to do it without any underlying hope or desire for anything in return – ever. If you get something back, great, that will make it easier. If you never ever get anything back from the other coparent that is not a get out of jail free card. And that is a hard pill to swallow for most people.

It IS hard, it often downright sucks. You will throw two year old fits (even if it’s just in your head) and you won’t want to do it anymore. But that doesn’t fix the problem. Shoes don’t break themselves in,  problems don’t go away because we refuse to do our part to address them. Put on their shoes. What is their perspective? We all have our own problems – they don’t know yours and you don’t know theirs. Maybe they have trust issues.  Maybe they are stressed out financially. Maybe they just woke up today feeling crappy. Step into their shoes and give them the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves a little consideration. If you want people to understand you, to treat you better, etc., you can’t wait around for them to make the first move. You have to do it. You have to swallow your pride and your hurts and your grievances and you have to imagine yourself in their place. You have to put those size 6 shoes on your size 8 feet and walk around with your head held high because you know you are doing the right thing.

Just hope your coparent counterpart doesn’t like to wear 8 inch heels….

In addition, at the end of the day it might just make you appreciate your own shoes a little bit more.

~M~

A Word to Mom’s, Both Biological and Step!

I want to share something with you all that I have intentionally kept to myself until there was a necessary time for it to be told. I think now is a good time for you all to know what makes it easier for me to love and care for Marissa as much as I do. I have walked a mile in her shoes. I was married once before and I had two beautiful stepdaughters. I know what it is like to be a stepmom. I know and remember clearly how hard it was to “deal with” he girls’ mother and how every time the mention of her name would make me cringe, not to mention seeing her in person. Unfortunately there were some serious things that happened in my marriage that caused us to divorce and I no longer see my stepdaughters. However, I will never forget them and they are always in my heart!

That being said…I want to share with you some things that I learned as a stepmom and that I learned as a mom! First I want to tell you all that like everything we have written on this blog, you can take or leave what I say right now. Also, I do not have any intentions of upsetting people when you read this, but these are some harsh realities of being in a mom/stepmom relationship that everyone needs to hear. It’s like going to therapy where they tell you what you need to hear, not what they think you want to hear.

Biological moms…
You need to know that step-moms love our children more than we could ever imagine and 99% of the time they love them as if they were their own biological child. I know that as a mom you don’t want to ever think that someone could love your child as much as you do, but I can promise you that it is possible. Step-moms, just like biological moms, have a place in their heart for children and even though they didn’t come from their womb that doesn’t mean that they don’t love them. Let’s look at reality as a biological, some become moms through adoption, some through marriage, and some through the blessing of our own bodies. However, how we reach motherhood doesn’t make us any less of a mom. In fact, it makes being a mom even more special. My husband and I are looking at adopting a child because I can no longer have children from my womb. When we do adopt a baby, I will love that baby as much as I love my son despite the fact that we got our children in different ways. Thus think of the love of step-mom in the same way. Love for a child is love for a child. No matter how they come into your life.
Now, that being said…biological moms, I know. I know it is difficult to accept that someone loves your child like you do. I know it is hard to let them in your life and even more difficult to let them in your child’s life. And I know that it is hard to allow them to show the love that they have for your child, especially in front of you. There are things in life that you don’t usually want to see, and having someone else care for your child, is one of them. You want to think that you and only you can do and know what is best them and that only you can care for them as you do. Take a deep breath…in through your nose, out through your mouth. Reality is, they can love your child like you and typically they do. And even though they are not and never will be you, they care for your child just like you do and would.
The next time you think about your child’s step-mom or possibly soon to be step-mom think of what all they are going through. Think about the changes they have made in their lives, think about the fact that they have gone from single to being a wife and step-mom in one “I-Do,” and think about how you would feel if it was you. Would you love the child being brought into your life as if they were your own? Would you care for that child the same way you care for your own child? Would you do anything for the child? Just some things to think about when you think about your child’s step-mom.
When you think about your relationship with their step-mom think about what you want your child to see and learn. Do you want your child to hate her or do you want them to love her? Really think about that…do you want your child to hate anyone…especially someone that loves them. Think about what you want your child to learn. Do you want them to learn that two people can work together for a common good or do you want them to learn that you can’t practice what you preach when you tell them to be nice to everyone and to respect their peers. I know that it is hard…trust me…I’ve been there and I’ve done that. I can tell you though that if you put respect and love into your relationship with your child’s step-mom then they will too and ultimately everyone will be happy. I can also tell you that your relationship will grow and become something that is livable with the other woman. One final note…if you are remarried, engaged, or seriously dating…how do you want your child to treat the man that could be or is their step-dad and how do you want your ex to treat that man? Walk a mile in their shoes!

Now that I have talked to the biological moms, let me talk to the step-moms. (Surely you didn’t think that you weren’t going to get some advice.)

Step-moms:
You need to know that as a biological mom it is very hard for us to let go of our children and to intrust them to someone else’s love and care. You need to know that even though we may realize and know how much you love our children it is hard for our heads to connect to our hearts in that matter and that sometimes we think that what we provide can never be provided by another woman or another person for that matter. You need to understand that our children are our world and that we are entrusting you with the most precious person in our lives. Now it’s your turn to take a deep breath…in through you nose, out through your mouth. Reality is, we know you love our children or else you wouldn’t have married their father and taken on this role. We also know this or else we would do everything in our power to keep you from them.
That being said…step-moms…I know. I know it is hard to see yourself in the picture helping to raise the child as your own. I know that there are times that the child will pull the phrase, “You’re not my mother.” I know that those words can kill and crush you to the core and your soul and heart will break. I also know that you will want to say something along the lines of, “I’m might not be your mom, but I am married to your father and I am in your life forever.” Let me tell you, that will come back to haunt you. We will find out if you say something like that and that is one thing we will never let go of. And if you say something along the lines of “I am your mom when you are with me.” Even if you have a wonderful relationship with the child’s biological mom you will hurt her. Don’t get me wrong…you are a mom to that child. However, just because the child isn’t with the biological mom doesn’t mean we stop being the biological mom. No matter where the child is we are and always will be their mom!
The next time you think about the child’s mom think about what they are going through as a person and as a mom. Just like you had to adjust to being a step-mom and a wife in one “I-Do,” we have to adjust to there being another woman in our child’s life and in our life too. Although you didn’t marry us per say you did marry into the family of our child and that includes us. Think about how we must feel about having another woman look after our child at times. How about how we must feel about having you clean their scrapes, wipe their tears, and even share in their joys. Also think about how we must feel when there is a milestone or something big that happens in their life and it happens in your house. Like if they take their first steps (don’t tell us), or when they lose a tooth, or ride a bike with no training wheels. We want those things to happen at our house and we want to be the first ones to see it happen. I know it might sound silly, but there are moments in a child’s life that we feel should happen with us and when they don’t it bums us out. You deserve the same amount of special moments as we do, but it is true that we feel like we should get them all. Don’t get mad or angry with us for feeling this way…we don’t do it on purpose…it’s just how we feel and just like you feel ways about things so do we.
Now, the next time you think about your relationship with the child’s mom think about how you want to be treated and how you would feel if you walked a mile in our shoes. Think about how when and if you have a child of your own you would feel if there was another woman in their life. Mostly, think about the big picture. Is it worth putting energy into being negative towards or with the other person. Just some thoughts to think about.

Mom and step-mom alike think about the following…
What is best for your child? Is it better for the child to grow up in a house where they feel tension because the two of you can’t get along or in a family where there is love and joy that surrounds them every day of the their life. What is best for you, both as an individual and as a co-parent? Is it better for you to put negative energy into something or positive energy? Would you rather spend your life being happy and feeling at peace because you know that the child is being taken care of and loved no matter where they are? I know that the road won’t always be easy. The road for Marissa and me isn’t always easy, but the end product of our relationship is always worth the positive attitude, gratitude, and love that we put into it and it will be worth it for you too.
More important than either of you though is the child in the middle. For Marissa and me our child in the middle is Ethan. He benefits more than either of us because we get along, are on the same page, have each other’s backs, and communicate with each other. No matter what you think is best for you in this type of situation…it doesn’t matter as much as what is best for the child.
My prayer for all of you that read this is that you may know and find a common and middle ground with the other woman. May you feel supported by each other and may you be able to stand by each other regardless of the situation. Finally, may your child feel the abundant love, care, comfort, support, and security that you can and do both provide.

Blessings to you and your entire family!

~S~

What matters most this Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is right around the corner – and everyone is talking about it. But right now, my heart is hurting for a family of dear friends who two hours ago lost their home in a fire. As I sit at the keyboard, nearly two hours away from home, and thus unable to help in any way at the moment – I just ache for them. They have lost everything. Everything. Just imagine if everything about your life as you know it was gone, in just a matter of minutes.

What a way to start Mother’s Day weekend. This family I know, they are the pastoral family of my church. They have three wonderful kids who are in their teens, two boys and a girl. Imagine being a teenager and losing all your possessions, your home.It’s a terrible thing to have happen to you. It’s a horrible way to preface a weekend that should be filled with celebration.

And it’s a great reminder of just how caught up in material things we can get.

Because I look at the world and I see people rushing out to buy cards and gifts for their mother’s this weekend. But how many of us just are doing it because “that’s what you do”?

I hear commercials about diamonds and other expensive jewelry, or of this, that, and the other awesome thing that would be the perfect Mother’s Day gift. And I just shake my head at the way we as a society have to commercialize everything.

And I just wonder, how often do we stop and really take time to show that we care – genuinely express love and gratitude – without all the STUFF. Or how often do we actually put some thought into what we are buying, or do we simply run to the nearest store, pick up some gift card or “canned girly item” and present it with a cookie cutter card? And how many of us moms, focus on the receiving of these items rather than the joy of simply having our families with us?

I don’t know about you, but as a mom, as a PERSON, I just want Mother’s Day to have more depth than that. I look at the situation with these friends of mine and I think, yeah, they just lost everything. Wow it’s horrible they have nothing left. BUT, how awesome is it that they all made it out? That no one got hurt? Right now, I guarantee that the mother isn’t thinking about fancy jewelry, or smell good stuff, or clothes or anything else but her FAMILY.

In the end, you can take the stuff away and you’ll survive the day okay. It’s replaceable – and if it’s replaceable, then it probably ISN’T that important. What isn’t replaceable is the people you call family.

So take a minute before you go into the weekend. If you have a mom you are celebrating this weekend, stop and really think about her. Really take the time to appreciate her and what she does. If you are a mom, don’t get caught up in the material things this weekend. It’s not about the flowers, it’s not about the gifts, it’s not about the dinner. It’s about the joy your kids bring to your life. Mother’s Day is as much a celebration of your kids as it is of you – without them, you wouldn’t BE a mother.

Stepmoms – this weekend is a great opportunity for you to acknowledge the woman who “made” you a stepmom. Like it or not, she is sharing her children’s lives with you. Take a minute to realize, that probably isn’t the easiest thing for a mother to do and extend some gratitude.

To moms everywhere – have a blessed Mother’s Day. To my friend – even in this moment of crisis, you are blessed to not have lost that which is most important, I hope you can find a way to celebrate that this weekend.

~M~

Related articles

• Best Mother’s Day Ever – 12 real moms share their fondest memories (theinsider.retailmenot.com)
• Moms, Stepmoms, and Mother’s Day (hrichmond.wordpress.com)
• Mother’s Day is Dad’s Day too! (aloma2day.wordpress.com)

“I have a present for you!!”

There are some moments in time when you are having a hard day and then God sends you a moment to make you smile. Well, for me today was one of those days. Let me start this out by saying I love my family, they mean more to me than anything and in my life, my family includes Andrew and Marissa.

Okay…that being said, today has been a very hard day for me. Ethan didn’t sleep well last night, which made me exhausted today, I had a meeting with a professor where I heard things I didn’t want to hear, and my Mamaw, whom I love very much, is in the hospital. So anyway…this afternoon I called Marissa to ask her not to pick up Ethan today because I wanted to take him to the hospital to see Mamaw. Well, she had already picked him up so I told her I would pick her up for their house after I had finished a final. On my way to pick up E from their house I couldn’t stop thinking about my life and the “ughness” that is going on when I turned the corner and stopped my car in the middle of the entrance to the subdivision. There, in front of my car was a turtle. Moving slowly and at a pace, that even though he almost got ran over, was smooth and peaceful. He didn’t seem to have a worry in the world.

I couldn’t help but to pick the turtle up to move it out of the road. But when I picked it up I noticed how he went in his shell because he was afraid and wanted to hide. I couldn’t help it…I took the turtles movements and realized how much like a turtle I was wanting to be. I wanted to. I’ve at a slow and peaceful pace. I wanted someone to pick me up and let me hide in my shell. I wanted to be moved out of the middle of the road that I was on.

Well, I took the turtle, put him in my car, and drove down to Marissa and Andrew’s house. When I got there, I sat for a minute in my car then went, turtle in hand, and knocked on the door. When I opened the door I told Marissa I had a present for her. The first words out of her mouth, “it better not be an animal!” I couldn’t help but to laugh as I looked at the turtle on her porch. She came out on the porch and laughed when she saw the turtle. As we stood there I thought about the moment and how I was actually smiling and not worried. It was a moment that wouldn’t have happened had Marissa not picked up Ethan a few minutes early and had she not have taken him back to her house instead of back to mine.

It’s funny how when things happen in life you don’t always see how God’s hand is working and yet there is that moment in time where you can stop and see where and why things have happened the way they have.

I hope that as you live your life you notice, even if only once or twice, why things happen the way they do. I pray that you see God’s hand in your life and that you realize that even if you don’t get along your child’s stepmom or biological mom is there, in your life, and your child’s life for a reason. Look for it, search for the reason. Even if it’s only for a brief moment of laughter or a smile, they are here in our lives for a reason.

Blessings and peace to you today, tomorrow, and forever.

~S~

We are GROWING!

Well today has been hugely eventful for us as co-parenting bloggers! Today we were interviewed by Deesha Philyaw of Co-Parenting Matters and co-author of  CO-PARENTING 101: Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce (New Harbinger Publications, Spring 2013). And let me tell you, we have been looking forward to this day for a while – and keeping quiet about it on here has been hard!!! But now that the deed is done, I can say it was an amazing experience. Right now, I can’t even recall everything that was asked of us, or what our replies were – but I CAN tell you that everything that was said was heartfelt and true. Scarlet nearly had me in tears at times!

I can’t really divulge a lot of information right now, but that’s okay because it will hopefully make you want to tune in to listen! We will post the link here when we get it. All I can say is, when we were done, Scarlet and I just looked at each other and it was just such a “WHOO HOO, WE DID IT!” moment. Kind of gave us some personal “umph” too. You know, it’s not always easy for us to find time to post here, and sometimes we really do struggle with what to write about….and I think our momentum had kind of died off there for a while. But this opportunity rejuvenated us. After talking with Deesha, we came up with some new ideas – including opening our own Twitter account and making some changes to our blog and Facebook pages.

We really want to get our names out there – we really think we have something to offer blended/co-parenting families who are trying to make it work. We believe in ourselves.

And we believe in you too! We know, whatever you may be facing right now, whatever trials you may be going through, however badly your relationship with exes, steps, kids, etc. may be going, that you can do it! You can make it work. You can live, AT THE VERY LEAST, civilly interacting with the other parent(s). We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it takes WORK. But there IS hope.

We hope you will follow us on our brand new Twitter account at:

https://twitter.com/#!/RevolutionaryMo

Or on Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Revolutionary-Moms/117337765016861

And you can always email us at:

revolutionarymoms@yahoo.com

We love hearing from our readers and answering questions!

One last thing, we’d like to thank Deesha for reminding us that WE ARE NOT ALONE and we are NOT crazy

All the Best,

~M~

Related articles

• Living By Example (shirley-mclain.net)
• What it Takes to Be Friends with Your ‘X’ (divorcedazed.wordpress.com)
• Divorce Tool Box Divorce Coaches Offer 8 Tips During International Child-Centered Divorce Month on How to Effectively Co-Parent After Divorce (prweb.com)
• Parent Bloggers: Do More Than Write Your Love (blogher.com)
• Top 10 Tips for Divorcing Parents (my.psychologytoday.com)

Sometimes if I didn’t laugh I would cry! But, HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!

Have you ever had one of those weekends when you have a great day and then the following day just makes you want to scream, but then you find yourself the next day being blessed beyond belief? Well, that was me this Easter weekend!

Friday was an amazing day! I started another class for my education degree and the people in the class are amazing!! I feel very stressed and behind this semester, despite the fact that I am doing great in school, but this new class that I started makes me feel so much better! Maybe it is the people that I am with, maybe it’s because the professor is being wonderful, or maybe it is all of the above, but no matter what the reason is this class has made me feel wonderful! Friday only got better when I picked Ethan up from school and we went to Gattiland to kick off the Easter season. David and I took Ethan and three other boys to Gattiland for a couple of hours to eat and play and then we went to get ice cream with the boys’ family.

Saturday though is a split and whole different story. Andrew and Marissa came on Saturday morning to pick up Ethan and to take him to an Easter egg hunt at their church. Ethan had a wonderful time and that night I went to pick him up to take him to a flashlight egg hunt. That is when the day went to BLAH!! Ethan was in a great mood and then ended up getting in a small disagreement with a cousin which turned into E having a major melt down and us leaving the park before the egg hunt even started. So that wasn’t good at all, but it did lead to something that at honestly if I didn’t laugh when it was happening I would have cried. I went to drop Ethan back off with Marissa and Andrew and on the way there Ethan really didn’t want to stay at his dads. There was no reason really, but when he gets as upset as he was Saturday he doesn’t want to be with anyone but me and there is typically no changing is mind. For me it is a difficult moment in co-parenting because I know how much Andrew and Marissa love him and I know that they would never harm him, but at the same time I can’t help but to cry because I knew that he was hurting and that there was nothing I could except to remind him that I love him and to reinforce to him that he will be perfectly fine and that the morning brings a new day.

When we got to Andrew and Marissa’s I stayed to talk to them while Ethan took a shower so that I could tell them about the night and so that I could tuck him in bed. Well, after about 20 minutes of talking I went to leave the house and well, my keys were locked in the car! It was at this moment that I knew that I either had to laugh or I was going to cry. I hung my head and went back to Andrew and Marissa’s house. All I could do was laugh as Marissa pulled the door, Andrew tried to pop the lock with a wire coat hanger, and I held the light that kept going off because it was on my phone. Seriously, it was funny, but when it was happening it wasn’t such a laughing matter. Although, it was either laugh or cry so I chose to laugh. We weren’t successful at getting my car unlocked so I called David and he came to pop the lock, but while I waited at the house for him Andrew and Marissa went shopping and I stayed with Ethan at their house and made macaroni-n-cheese for Easter for Marissa and Andrew to take to their Easter lunch. I know that it might sound crazy and maybe it is, but when I told a dear friend of mine about what happened in the entire day, I got the following response, “God works all things out for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.” I read it once and just said yeah and then I read it again and thought about my day and night and couldn’t help but to smile about how things happened.

Ok…enough about the rest of the week, here was my life changer. I love Easter and everything that it stands for. Typically when it comes to Ethan we do our regular holiday thing and switch back and forth depending on the year. Well, this year was different! Not just a little different, but majorly different. This year Marissa invited myself and my husband to go to church with her and Andrew (and they had Ethan.) I must admit that when I first said yes I went for selfish reasons and that was to be with Ethan, please note…I am only human and even though Marissa and I get along so well sometimes selfishness gets in the way. However, even in my selfishness I knew that it would be wonderful for Ethan to see us all together, worshiping God and what He did for us, and of course the fact that we would all be there a one big family that loves and supports him.

Easter morning came and as my husband and I drove to the church we talked about how it felt kind of awkward for us to be going to a church where everyone knows and likes Andrew and Marissa and knows Ethan as their son. The welcome that we got was quit the opposite though and we were greeted with smile by a man and as soon as we walked into the church Marissa was there and calmed my nerves. I did get a few looks of shock when we were greeting during the service and people found out that I was Ethan’s mom, but nothing that wasn’t expected or typical. We sat with Andrew, Marissa, and Ethan and although in the beginning my intentions were selfish by the time the music started and I heard the opening song my selfishness was melted away and quickly filled with a presence that cannot be denied or overlooked. I found myself crying at the message that was said to me during the first song and continued to be teary eyed during almost all of the music. During the sermon I found my spirit being renewed and the message of HE IS RISEN resounding through my soul and heart. The words of hope, resurrection, and love were spoken and as I reflected back on the last couple of days I realized that I was not in the right mindset in the beginning and I found myself thanking God for pulling me back to where I needed to be. When leaving church on Easter morning I left feeling refreshed, renewed, and loved. I know that we all had church together for Ethan’s benefit, but honestly, I believe that God sent us there for church knowing that more would happen.

Happy Easter from our family to yours! May you feel blessed knowing that HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!!

~S~

Spring Break 2012

Last week was Spring Break for our school system so Scarlet, Ethan, and I were all on Spring Break at the same time. With our scheduling, we split Spring Break between our two houses so that both of our families can spend time with Ethan. Scarlet and David took him to Great Wolf Lodge until Wednesday and then Andrew and I got to have him for the rest of the week.

This Spring Break was really special for me for a lot of reasons. For one, it was the first time in my life I’ve ever GONE anywhere on Spring Break. As a kid, we always took our vacations in the fall and throughout college (the first time – heh) I never had the money to go anywhere. Not only was it my first spring Break trip — it was my last official “Spring Break” since I will be graduating (for the LAST time) this May.

But, the real reason it was so special to me was because it was the first trip away that Andrew and I have taken WITH Ethan — it was our first trip as a family.

Andrew and I kind of went back and forth on where to go and whether to even go anywhere, but we finally decided we could afford a few days somewhere within driving distance. We scouted out nearby cities (within 4 hrs) and what kinds of things they had to do/see and finally settled on Gatlinburg, TN. Andrew hadn’t been there since he was a kid and I hadn’t been there since high school, so it was kind of exciting for us….it had been so long, it was almost like going somewhere we’d never been! We decided to keep it a secret and surprise Ethan.

We packed our stuff and took off early Thursday morning. The drive down seemed long, but we didn’t really care – we took our time to make rest stops and still got there before noon.

First on our agenda was to find a place to eat – a Google search later we settled on Bubba Gump‘s. We parked at our hotel and walked the half mile down to the main strip through Gatlinburg and had lunch. The food there was pretty good, and with full tummies we left to visit our first attraction.

Andrew and I had pre-bought tickets to the Ripley’s aquarium, odditorium, and mirror maze. Walking down the parkway we came to the odditorium (Believe It or Not! Museum) first. They had all kinds of cool/weird/bizarre stuff. My favorite was the weird art room which had some pictures of celebrities made out of unique things – like a picture of Eminem made from M&M’s.

I’m pretty sure Ethan would tell you the whole thing was his favorite. He really liked posing in front of the green screen and checking out the shadow/silhouette left on it after a bright flash…you can’t see the screen or shadows in my picture, but I love this “action” pic of Andrew and E.

After we left the odditorium, it started to rain, so we ducked into the Mirror Maze and tried to sort our way through it while avoiding the storm. That was a pretty cool experience…I am directionally challenged (dyslexic) and have horrible depth perception, so if it hadn’t been for the boys I would have probably been lost forever in the maze – but after several wrong turns and I think going around in circles, we made it out. It wasn’t really raining anymore so we walked down to the aquarium to finish out our day. We took our time walking through ALL of the exhibits and saw all kinds of cool stuff, including sharks and a dive show, but Ethan’s favorite was the penguins.

And we goofed around a little….

Then we wrapped up the day with a stroll through the gift shop – because it’s not a vacation unless you buy a souvenir! Ethan got a Ripley’s book about the ocean which he started reading right away.

We went out to dinner at a small, Mom and Pop‘s kind of BBQ place, then crashed at the hotel for the night. We were all exhausted from walking! The next day we got up and had breakfast at a pancake house before embarking on the day’s activities. First we stopped at the space needle and rode to the top to see the awesome view.

Absolutely breathtaking!

After spending a few minutes taking pictures and enjoying the view, we headed off to the water park. We hadn’t told Ethan what activities we had planned, and I slipped and said something about a water park the night before at dinner – so the whole morning we kept telling him that I hadn’t said water park at all, and that what I had actually said was “alligator farm”….he didn’t buy it at all! He was excited to go, and we had a great time lounging in the lazy river. Andrew and Ethan rode the water slides a couple times and I even went once! Which is unique for me because I don’t like water slides, especially not the fully enclosed ones. (*shudder*) We went to get ice cream after the park and then started the 4 hr drive back home.

It was a short trip, but we packed an amazing amount of fun into just those two days. Ethan had a pretty jam packed Spring Break with the trip with Scarlet earlier in the week, our two day foray into Gatlinburg, and then on Saturday he got to go fishing with my dad and caught 5 fish!

I have to say, I’m pretty proud of Scarlet for not freaking out about us taking Ethan 4 hours away for the first time ever – lol. I knew she’d probably be nervous about it and I promised to text/call her when we got there and when we got home, hoping it would help her feel a little better about it. But she never once acted like she was worried (even though I know she was!) and that really meant a lot to me too, knowing that I (we ) had her trust.

So all in all it was a FANTASTIC week! I had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed getting to take a trip as a family… just one of those times when parenting is fun

~M~

Related articles

• Spring – no. Break – yes. (ladonasmusicstudio.com)
• Spring Break… (enjoythejourney1995.wordpress.com)
• Spring Break (mizzinformation.com)

Help Us Help Others

Dear Readers and Friends:

As you may or may not know there was a huge tornado that hit Henryville, Indiana on Friday, March 2, 2012. This tornado was devastating to the community of Henryville. Our families live less than 20 minutes from Henryville and although we are helping the community we want to help more. So, we have decided to come to you! Not only were a good portion of the homes flattened by the tornado, but also the Elementary, Middle, and High Schools were destroyed as well. As a future educator I can’t imagine loosing everything in my classroom and then all of my students loosing all of their school supplies and belongings too! Marissa and I are asking you, our wonderful readers, to please help us help the teachers and students. We will be taking donations from now until the end of April for both classroom materials and for student materials. The list is as follows.

There are 688 students in the Elementary School, 800 Students in the Middle School and around 700 students in the High School.

pencils
paper (wide and collage ruled)
spiral notebooks
binders (all sizes)
crayons
markers
colored pencils
bulletin board paper
bulletin board boarder
classroom decorations
backpacks
books (all ages)
class sets of books (6 or more of the same book makes up a classroom set)
pencil boxes
glue sticks
scissors
construction paper
paints
rulers
pens (all colors)
folders (with and without prongs)
teacher bags
ziploc bags (all sizes)
dry erase markers
printer paper

and anything else you can think of that you see in the classroom. Also, gift cards are welcome so that teachers can go and purchase their own items.

If you are able to help please email us at revolutionarymoms@yahoo.com so that we can send you the address of where to mail your donations.

Thank you for being such a great group of followers and for helping us help others!!!

Blessings to you and your families.

~S~